Where there’s smoke…find the fire extinguisher

Have you ever felt like everything around you was going badly?  Like every time you turned around there was some new problem or new horrible thing presenting itself?  That’s sort of how I’ve been feeling lately, like all around me things were burning, smoke billowing up and surrounding me.  

I’m grateful to say that although I still have a lot going on, I seem to be coming back up out of that valley.  But while I was in it I fell back into old habits of turning to food in times of stress.  I seem to just crave sugar and carbs, and in the moment, that’s all I want!  It’s hard when all you want to do is to take care of yourself and get healthy, but you are so stressed that you keep turning back to old ways of coping.  I have gained back a bit on the scale.  I don’t want to let it get too far though, I want to get ahold of things before the holidays so I don’t go even further off the rails.  

It’s interesting what God has used to help bring me out of this rough season I was in.  I had so many things going on in my personal life in addition to work being crazy.  But what I think has been a big part of my recovery has been the overwhelming explosion of new youth attending the middle school youth group that I volunteer with each week.  Several weeks ago our numbers exploded to more than twice our normal number of students.  I don’t think we’ve been able to figure out where all the kids have come from all of a sudden but it’s been awesome to watch God at work, bringing all these new kids to us.  The first week this happened we had 15 kids come forward to accept the Lord and the following week a few more!  It’s been incredibly challenging to manage all these kids, and there are some very troubled kids in the mix, but somehow it has reinvigorated me.  It has reminded me of the role of service.  Not only does God ask us to do acts of service to help others, but it helps us as well, which is easy to forget.  It takes us outside of ourselves and whatever problems we are facing and gives us a focus on something else, something with eternal implications.  I’ve had some other ideas as a result of this that I’m praying about, exciting things lie ahead!

His downward dog rules

Another part of what I’ve done to try to come out of this low spot is to look more at what I can do for me, things I enjoy, to have fun and take my mind off things.  One of those things recently was a puppy yoga class!  Oh my goodness what fun, and just what I needed as a stress relief!  I mean look at this guy!  Relaxing yoga while 5 puppies run around and lick your toes LOL!  It also served to show me that my hip really isn’t ready for yoga just yet, but since this class was so relaxed I was able to do things at my own tolerance.  

I also set out a new routine for myself for my workouts, with the help of a friend.  They lost some of the lifeguards at the Y, so the pool hours have been effected, namely the early morning hours.  So now I have designated Monday, Wednesday and Friday as my swim days, Tuesday and Thursday as lifting days with particular muscle groups assigned to each day.  

So snuggly!
Watching the Buckeyes!

Another new development is an addition to my little family, this energetic guy, Jack!  I had to put down one of my cats a couple of months ago, and finally decided to give a home to another rescue.  He is finally integrated into the house with my other cat Maddie.  He is little and hilarious and makes me laugh every day!  

So I guess my lesson here, and hopefully a help to you, is that there are many ways to feed yourself: service to God and others, spending time the the Lord, paying attention to your own needs including what you enjoy, rest, as well as healthy eating and moving your body.  It can be a complicated balance sometimes!  But being in community like this is a great way to find healthy support!  

Am I burned out? Also, pumpkin chili!!

Why is it that being tired and not feeling well make me want carbs?  Ugh!  I’ve been dealing with a sinus infection the last few days and I want to eat all the cookies and ice cream and French fries LOL!  

I’m also wondering if part of the reason for my getting sick is being run down in general.  I’ve been feeling very worn thin lately.  A couple of weeks ago as I was journaling I realized that “overstimulated” is the best way to describe how I’m feeling.  Last week I was listening to a Craig Groeschel message where he described his season of being burned out.  His description of this is exactly how I’ve been feeling the last few weeks.  In his message he talked about not just rest but being refilled….by disconnecting from the things burning you out.  Since I’m in a job (and other areas in my life) where I use my mind all the time, I need to find a way to disengage my mind and engage my body.  If you’re someone who does physical work engaging your body all the time, then you would need to find a way to disengage your body and engage your mind.  This is a totally different kind of rest.  He likened this to the story of Elijah running 100 miles and being threatened and feeling as though he couldn’t take any more.  God came to him and told him to rest: have a snack and a nap.  He disengaged his body.  This got me to thinking about my road to fitness, falling in love with running and lifting weights, and then the injuries all but stopping all of it.  It’s really no wonder I’m feeling the way I do!  I need to find a new way to engage my body and disengage my mind.  I can’t run at the moment, and my swim routine has been disrupted by scheduling changes at the gym…but I can come up with a new routine and maybe a new activity to work up a sweat…I really do miss sweating!  

Some other side effects of being burned out that Craig talked about included having self-doubt, feeling isolated, and feeling disconnected from God.  I can identify lately with all of these things.  I also learned recently about the idea of body budget, which is the way that our brains budget energy for our bodies. All of this makes so much sense to me and the season I’m in right now.  I feel as though God is speaking to me clearly that I need to find a way to disengage my mind and better manage things so I don’t continue down the road of unhealthy eating and the other effects of burn out.  I have the chance now to stop this and take another route.  

I began today by making a new recipe from one of Maria Emmerich’s cook books, pumpkin chili.  I find that looking through new recipes helps to motivate me, so I got 2 of her books recently.  The pumpkin chili recipe is found in her Instant Pot book.  It also includes slow-cooker instructions which I really like as well.  Pumpkin chili may sound strange, but it smelled so good as it was cooking, and the taste did not disappoint!  The portion is very generous and filling, always a bonus!  I don’t think I can publish the recipe here, since it is included in her hard copy cookbook, but I highly recommend the Instant Pot book, there are a ton of great looking recipes.  I also tried pulled pork and French onion soup from this book, both were great!  

My hope is that by mid-week I’ll be feeling up to getting back to the gym.  I can lift upper body pretty safely at this point.  My hip continues to give me trouble sometimes, the hip flexor muscle being very finicky about what I can and can’t do without aggravating it.  So I will continue to take things day by day related to any exercises for my hip and lower body.  

How do you manage stress and burn out?  Do you have strategies for disengaging so you can be refilled?  

Hello!

Wow, what a long time it has been since I’ve blogged, since April of 2018!  I did continue to post on my Instagram account a bit, but no real blogging in over 4 years!  So much has happened over the last years since my that post, honestly I contemplated taking the site down and forgetting about my blog.  But I was recently contacted by one of my followers who discovered my blog and told me how encouraged she was reading about my journey.  This was so inspiring to me that I decided I needed to pick up the keyboard and start writing again.  Thanks Kim 😉 

My life is in such a different place today than it was 4 years ago.  The last time I wrote I was prepping for ankle surgery and to attend a weekend running coach certification course.  Today I am recovering from a total hip replacement and struggling to get back on track with my eating.  Terrible as it was to have to have my hip replaced at 46 years old (which I will talk about in another blog post), it redirected me to a different approach to keto which has been very successful for me.  When I learned I had to have the surgery back in November the surgeon told me he wanted me to lose 10 pounds before the surgery.  That was just the kick in the pants I needed, as I had gained back about half the weight I lost initially.  This protein focused approach to keto allowed me to lose 20 pounds by my surgery date and another 25 or so after that during my initial recovery.  Life has been somewhat complicated over the summer, during which I have returned to some of my old emotional eating habits, but I’m hopeful I can get right back on the wagon and continue to a healthier weight.  

I remember when I was first researching keto back in the spring of 2017 running across Maria Emmerich and her books.  I didn’t spend a lot of time looking into her approach, but when I knew I had to get back to some form of healthier eating again (and the traditional approach to keto was just not working for me the second time around…which apparently is a thing), I decided to read more about Maria’s well-researched approach.  I was also concerned that my age was impacting my weight loss attempts, worried that as I approach 50 perhaps my strategy needed to change.  

“Traditional” keto is high (healthy) fat, moderate protein and low carb.  Most normally a calorie breakdown of roughly 70%/20%/10%.  The Emmerich approach is different in that it is higher lean protein, lower fat and very low carb.  There is a focus on clean ingredients, as well as counting total carbs, not net.  It really is next door to carnivore.  The theory behind this approach is that we don’t want to have our body burning the fat we get nutritionally, but burning the excess body fat we already have.  Eating a higher amount of leaner protein and having just enough fat each day is key to this.  As well as keeping the total carbs very very low.  She recommends only 10 grams of total carbs per day.  In the interests of full disclosure I rarely keep my carbs that low, I usually fall closer to 20-30 carbs per day, but it works for me.  I lost 15.4 pounds in the first 5 weeks of eating this way.  And before I sort of fell off this summer I had lost about 45 pounds total.  I’ve gained a smidge of that back, but only because I’ve been stressed and resorted to emotional eating again, not really following the plan.  That’s something I’ve got to continually work on.  I’m praying that getting back to blogging will help!  

The other important piece of this way of eating is the Protein Sparing Modified Fasting days.  Whereas many keto plans encourage some form of fasting, whether water fasting or fat fasting, this plan does not encourage that.  Instead she encourages 2-3 days per week of PSMF, in particular if your goals is weight loss.  These days you eat primarily protein, less fat than on the other days, and still very low total carbs.  The calories are lower but with the increase in protein on those days it really doesn’t feel like fasting.  

I’ve been amazed at how well this approach has worked for me so far.  If you’re intrigued by this approach to keto, I would encourage you to look Maria Emmerich up.  She and her husband have something like 20 years of research into this, and she has many amazing recipes, a special macro calculator, meal plans and programs you can sign up for to get more help.  There is also a great Facebook group where I’ve gotten a lot of leads and tips on recipes and different things.

Drum roll please…….

Well, the verdict is in: surgery it is. Arthroscopic ankle surgery scheduled for Wednesday. I had hoped the steroid shot I got 3 weeks ago would give me some relief, but even after waiting the 3 days to let it all settle and set in, it made no difference and I’m still in pain. I saw the surgeon for my follow up this week and we decided to take the next most logical step. He will go in with a scope and take a look at everything, clear out the inflammation and any scar tissue, and then do any necessary repair to my ligaments and tendons. I should have a full and complete recovery and be able to return to all my normal activity once I’m fully healed. Continue reading Drum roll please…….

Do you talk to yourself like I do?

Shhh, don’t tell, but I totally talk to myself…like all the time. Wait, what’s that? You talk to yourself too?? Continue reading Do you talk to yourself like I do?

I’m Baaaaaack!

Hi everyone! So, it’s been a minute since I’ve done any writing…August I believe, about 7 months. Life has been a little chaotic and crazy the last few months for sure. I had to take some time to examine myself, take care of myself, essentially re-learning to make myself a priority. It’s been quite a roller coaster, but I’m working hard on several things and finding the light at the end of the tunnel.

Continue reading I’m Baaaaaack!

The balance of self-esteem & humility

I’ve been feeling better about myself lately than I can ever remember. This way of eating has improved so many aspects of the way I feel, both physically and mentally. I returned to the Bod Pod a couple of weeks ago to check on my progress of my body composition and was not disappointed; since February (or really since April, as that’s when I started Keto) I’ve lost 9.4 pounds of fat, or 3% of my total! Continue reading The balance of self-esteem & humility

Sunday check-in

Hello on this gorgeous Sunday afternoon! I love days like this, sunny, breezy, not too humid…perfect for sitting outside and enjoying life! Today I thought I would share an update as well as some helpful tips. Continue reading Sunday check-in

A finish line…of sorts…..

Good evening everyone! The days are finally getting warmer and longer which means outside workouts, blooming flowers and Vitamin D yay! Continue reading A finish line…of sorts…..