Shhh, don’t tell, but I totally talk to myself…like all the time. Wait, what’s that? You talk to yourself too??

Haha it’s true, we all talk to ourselves. I’m not talking about the under-your-breath frustrated words…but the silent words in our heads that we tell ourselves a hundred times a day. What is that voice saying to you? Is she telling you you should have done a better job on that presentation? Wondering if your dress is too tight and everyone’s staring? That there’s no way you’ll be able to stay on track with your eating plan so why bother?

Our internal self-talk has a huge impact on what we think about ourselves and therefore our success in everything we do. I must work on this daily. Until I really started paying attention, I had no idea just how much I talked down to myself and how judgmental I can be of myself.

A perfect example of how self-talk can make a difference was my half-marathon back in November. I was stressed about many things during that time, and unsure about how well I was going to run the race. At the advice of someone, I broke the race down into 2 parts, and made a plan as to how I was going to run each part. I kept my self-talk on the positive side and made an exerted effort not to talk negatively to myself, to give myself a break and talk positively. I blew through my goal time, taking three and a half minutes off my PR!

So much of how we feel and how we behave is influenced by how we think. It’s the whole basis of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, an evidence-based approach to dealing with anxiety and depression among other things. Think about it: if you had a goal to run a mile, and had someone in your ear constantly telling you “you’ll never be able to do it, you’re just fat and lazy, other people can do things like that but you can’t”…how successful do you think you’d be?? In the case of someone else telling you those things at least you have the option of cutting that person out of your circle and to surround yourself with more positive people. But when you’re saying these things to yourself its not so easy.

The first step is to realize when you are doing it. When I started I carried around a slip of paper and would make a hash mark when I realized I was being judgmental of myself. I was amazed at the number by the end of the day. And I’m confident that I didn’t recognize it every single time it happened.

Step two: compassionately change those thoughts. Don’t judge or berate yourself for having them but switch them to something more positive. Instead of “there’s no way I’m going to be able to run a mile”, try “I’m going to do my best and slowly build up my endurance to get there. It may take me a little time, but I will be able to reach my goal.” Sounds corny I know. But it works. And you’ll feel much better. And you’ll reach your goal. One of my favorite quotes, by Henry Ford:

Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re right.